I paused while reading this profile of a family caregiver in People magazine:
“We are not a caregiver and a patient. We are still a team,” she affirms. “It’s only been in the last six months that I’ve accepted the term caregiver. I only wanted to be his wife. I used to physically flinch when people would call me that. Sounds dramatic, but this whole thing is dramatic.”
Alicia Claytor wasn’t being dramatic.
She was processing both grief and trauma. She wasn’t in denial; she was adjusting to a completely different, unwanted life. No wonder she flinched.
In the caregiving space, some put way too much emphasis on whether or not individuals refer to themselves as a family caregiver.
We hear: “Family caregivers don’t self-identify.” This simply isn’t true. They know exactly what’s happening to them, to their life and their family. It shouldn’t matter whether or not an individual with caregiving responsibilities identifies with the label “family caregiver.”
It only matters that we meet her everywhere she goes (hospital, rehab, doctor’s office) with resources and support.
We see her in her caregiving role. We can show up to support her, regardless of the words she uses to define her role. Showing up to support her also includes being really sensitive to what makes her flinch and then doing whatever we can to prevent the future flinches. She’s already hurting. We don’t need to add to her pain.
Read the full story on People.com.
