Original Research · Denise M. Brown

When Did Your Caregiving Worries Begin?

Most research asks how many hours a week you care. We think that's the wrong question. Help us find the better one so we can provide better support for you.

Denise M. Brown — Caregiving researcher since 1995

6 questions · Less than 3 minutes

When did your caregiving really begin?

Most research measures caregiving by tasks — how many hours a week, how many medications managed, how many appointments attended. But family caregivers know something the research has consistently missed: the worry comes first.

I've been asking family caregivers about their experiences for 30 years. And I've never had anyone opt out when I use worry to define the caregiving experience. Everyone opts in. Because we worry so much — often long before we ever do anything the world would call caregiving.

These six questions help me understand the gap between when the worrying began and when the doing began. Your answers are part of original research.

Question 1 of 6

When did you start to worry?

Question 2 of 6

Think about the time before you began completing caregiving tasks. Did you worry about your caree?

Question 3 of 6

What defines your caregiving experience most?

Question 4 of 6

If you had received an offer of support for your worries before the tasks began, would you have accepted the support?

Question 5 of 6

What worry keeps you up at night?

Question 6 of 6

What support would most ease your worries?

Your results

Because You Worry

What your worry says about you — Denise M. Brown

So often, we think of our worries as the enemy. We want to take care of them because they steal our peace of mind and our sleep. But because we worry, we carry truly invaluable qualities within us. Our worries say so much about who we are — and who we are is worth knowing.

Because you worry, you are:

Thoughtful

You think through situations, experiences, and relationships. You spend time in thought about your impact and about how others impact you. Because you give so much thought to your life, you live a life with minimal regrets.

Gracious

You want to create the best experience for those you encounter. Because you strive to create the best experiences, you enter and end your experiences with grace.

Forgiving

You understand the pain of imperfection, which means you keep a forgiving heart. Because you know how to forgive, you live fully in the present moment.

Fun

You appreciate a good time because you relish a break from your worries. You understand the power of giving another a break from theirs. You encourage others to enjoy the moment.

Conscientious

When you give your word, you mean it. Your actions show it. People trust you because they know you are worthy of their trust. Because you have that trust, you have the gift of an honorable life.

Compassionate

You understand that worries are a universal experience. Because you know others worry too, you become the compassionate listener others seek when they need relief from the weight of their own worries.

A Leader

You see what could go wrong, which means you take action today to prevent a crisis. Your vision means you lead — often before others even recognize the need.

An Innovator

Because you live problems, you crave solutions. Your focus on being the solution means you innovate often — and the solutions you find are grounded in lived experience.

A Disrupter

You avoid settling for the easy short-term fix that only sustains lasting problems. Because you demand better, your disruption becomes the difference our world needs.

Caring

You care — which is why you worry. Because you care, you live a life full of heart, passion, and conviction.

What do your worries say about you?

Rather than a weakness, your worry is a window into your commitment to staying present during difficult, heartbreaking situations. Sit with that. Something is there because you remain there.

Written by Denise M. Brown — Read the original post

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Your answers contribute to original research on when caregiving really begins — research led by Denise M. Brown, who has studied the caregiving experience since 1995 and has conducted annual surveys of family caregivers since 1996.

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A reflection from Denise M. Brown

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Because You Worry

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Our worries define our caregiving experience. They also define something remarkable about who we are.

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Because you worry, you are…

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What do your worries say about you?

Rather than a weakness, your worry is a window into your commitment to staying present during difficult, heartbreaking situations. Sit with that. Something is there because you remain there.

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